some jokes 2

jery20462

<STRONG><U>Bring me the winner</U></STRONG>
<P> 　　-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.</P>
<P>　　-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.</P>
<P>　　-- Well, bring me the winner then.</P>
<P>　　给我那个打赢的吧</P>
<P>　　-- 服务员，</P>
<P>　　这个龙虾只有一只爪。</P>
<P>　　-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。</P>
<P>　　-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。</P>

jery20462

<STRONG><U>The mean man's party.</U></STRONG>
<P>　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."</P>
<P>　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"</P>
<P>　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"</P>
<P>　　吝啬鬼请客</P>
<P>　　一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”</P>
<P>　　“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”</P>
<P>　　“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。</P>

jery20462

<P>　　<U><STRONG>Advice for "Kid"</STRONG></U></P>
<P>　　A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."</P>
<P><BR>　　忠告“年轻者”</P>
<P>　　这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，</P>
<P>　　千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”</P>

jery20462

<STRONG><U>Which woman?</U></STRONG>
<P>　　One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.</P>
<P>　　On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the <BR> most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."</P>
<P>　　My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"</P>
<P>　　哪一位女人？</P>
<P>　　一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，</P>
<P>　　回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”</P>
<P>　　我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”</P>

幸福蛋糕

支持

jery20462

thank you for your support.[em04]